LYRICS:

SONGS FROM THE DEMO
too little too late
dry
roadkill
running in the family
emotion sickness
breaking rank

SONGS ON SPLIT W/PYGMY LUSH
invoking
eulogy
speed
exorcism

NEW SONGS
love is a self perpetuting void
love is a many splendored void
nothing

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TOO LITTLE TOO LATE (j)

I STILL BELIEVED IN GOD WHEN I WAS 16
STILL BELIEVED IN LAW AT 13

IDOLS UNDER GALLERY LIGHTS
FLAWS GLARE. FEIGN CONCERN.
DENY AVERT IGNORE UNLEARN PRETEND

VIOLENT MEN MUSTER A COWED SENSITIVITY
LIVING NEW LIVES IN THE SAME OLD COMMUNITY
YOU CAN’T CUT TIES THAT THICK SO CLEANLY

CRAWL OUT FROM UNDER THE HOUSE
AND GRAB THE REINS BACK FROM THE FUCKING DEVIL
AND GALLOP LIKE I USED TO
BEFORE I KNEW HOW YOU DO WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU DO

HOW DO YOU HOW DARE YOU
HOW DARE YOU HOW DO YOU
HOW DO YOU DARE?

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DRY (b)

DON’T NEED SCALES TO SEE.
DON’T NEED PICTURES TO SHOW ME.
DON’T NEED TO LOOK DOWN.
I KNOW I’M DISAPPEARING.

.
ROADKILL (b)

I’M DRUGGED BUT I CAN SEE
YOUR MANGLED BODY.

I WANT TO SAY
IT ENDS WITH ME.

ADDICTED TO CAFFEINE
AND CURSED WITH FEELINGS.

GUT MY ARMS LIKE FISH.
ARMPIT TO WRIST.
ARMPIT TO WRIST.

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RUNNING IN THE FAMILY (b)

HPV PTSD
HPV PTSD

I HAVE A ONE TRACK MOUTH.
IT BURNS ME. OUT LOUD.

HPV PTSD
HPV PTSD

I HAVE A ONE TRACK MOUTH.
IT BURNS ME OUT.

.
EMOTION SICKNESS (k)

IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I’VE FELT ANYTHING
AND NOW WHEN I CAN
IT’S SO OVERWHELMING
MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH
MAKES ME SICK AS HELL
I DON’T FEEL SO WELL
I’D RATHER FEEL NOTHING AT ALL

AM I DEAD YET
IT’S ALL THE SAME TO ME
AM I DEAD YET
CUZ I CAN’T TELL ANYMORE

IF I CAN’T FEEL NOTHIN, I CAN’T GET HURT
BUT WHEN IT CATCHES UP IT’S GONNA BE A LOT WORSE

I’VE SPENT MY LIFE FLOATING BY
DISSOCIATING DENYING GETTING HIGH
I CAN FLIP MY SHIT
OR I CAN HIT THE SWITCH
TURN OFF MY EMOTIONS
FORGET I EXIST

AM I DEAD YET
AM I ALREADY A GHOST

.
BREAKING RANK (b)

TEAR THESE SOUNDS
RIGHT FROM MY THROAT WELL
ARE YOU SCARED OF YOUR VOICE TOO?
IS THAT WHY YOU SAID NOTHING?

SPINELESS
SILENCE
SICKNESS

FOLLOW THIS TRAIL OF CRUMBS,
DON’T YOU FOLLOW. DON’T YOU FALL.
YOU CAN NEVER TAKE ME DOWN.

DAMAGE TO PROPERTY AND/OR TO SELF.
YOU CAN NEVER TAKE ME DOWN.

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INVOKING (b)

I AM FINALLY EMPTY
I DO NOT NEED TO BE FILLED
I DO NOT WANT TO BE SUBMERGED
I AM TOO POWERFUL FOR THIS WORLD

I AM THE ARROW
I DO NOT FLY BLIND
I CANNOT BE WILD
I CAN ONLY BE

I WANT COMMUNION
WITHOUT POSSESSION
WITHOUT SUBMISSION
WITHOUT ILLUSION

AND IF I STRAY MAY I DECONTAMINATE

I WANT COMMUNION
WITHOUT INFECTION
WITHOUT OBSESSION
WITHOUT ADDICTION

.

EULOGY (b)

THERE’S A HUNGRY DOG ROAMING AROUND YOUR BLOCK. GIVING ME PARANOID THOUGHTS. THERE’S A DNR FORM ON YOUR FRIDGE, IT’S SIGNED. THE SKIN MAY WITHER, BUT RUBBER’S FOREVER.

SPEED (j)

MORE LIKE A CHORE THAN A PRIVILEGE
TO HEAR THESE WORDS COME OUT OF MY MOUTH
I’LL BE ON REPEAT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

ON FAST FORWARD AND I’M LOSING.
SO WHEN IT’S ALL OVER I’LL HAVE LOST.

FLATTERED AND FOLDED.
ROTTEN AND MOLDED.
HEAR THROUGH THE FOG
SIFT DIAMONDS FROM THE MUD

FAITH IS TRUTH IS FAITH IS TRUE.
LET IT BLOW AND BURY YOU.

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EXORCISM (b)

I HATE WHAT I CRAVE WHEN I WANT TO BE DOMINATED. AND YES IT STILL GETS ME. NO PLEASURE WITHOUT SELLING MYSELF OUT. I AM THAT STUPID MYTH: A CONSTANT BETRAYAL AND I AM COMPLICIT. I HAVE NO MEMORY AND I AM SO FULL OF SHIT AND FRESH BLOOD AND MILK FOR YOU TO SUCK. I WILL BE YOUR PRETTY PAWN ON A PEDESTAL, IN THAT GILDED CAGE. I WILL DENY MY PAST AND MY PEOPLE AND MY OWN SELF. I AM THAT UGLY TRUTH: COMPLICIT IN THE CONSTANT BETRAYAL. BLANK.

I PROMISE NOW AND HERE TO MYSELF AND TO YOU WHO HAVE BLED AND TORN SO MUCH TO BE TRUE: ONE DAY I WILL NOT GET OFF ON BEING HELD DOWN.
I WILL BE NOBODY’S PRETTY PAWN. I WILL NOT FUCK MYSELF DEAD WITH A SYSTEM THAT FUCKS YOU. I WON’T CASUALLY TRAMPLE YOU FOR SCRAPS FROM FASCISTS. I PROMISE. THIS IS JUST MY STUPID STORY, BUT I CAN SWEAR TO YOU THAT THERE WILL BE NO DEFEAT. NO COMPROMISE. NO DEFEAT.

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LOVE IS A SELF PERPETUATING VOID(b)

SLOW DEATH. JUNK FOOD. NUMB FLESH. DUMB FLESH. COMPULSIVE SEX. YOUR SWEAT IS TRASH I INGEST. GET IT OUT OF ME AND GET OUT. COMFORT BECOMES SICKNESS. SICKNESS BECOMES STATUS QUO. I KNOW. EMPTY AS A PRAYER AND AS SELF-SERVING. UTTERLY BLANK AND UNDESERVING. OH HOW IT BECOMES YOU AT LAST…WHAT A TRASH. DON’T LOOK AT MY HANDS. DON’T LOOK BACK. ULTIMATELY I HOLD MY BREATH.

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LOVE IS A MANY SPLENDORED VOID(b)

YOU WERE LEAVING AS I WAS COMING IN. A NEW PLACE TO BE FORBIDDEN. THE REASON TO PRESERVE MY SKIN. REWARD ME. YOU DON’T KNOW HOW GOOD I CAN BE. GOING TO BED EARLY & EXERCISING. I CHANGE EVERY FACE TO YOUR FACE BEFORE I… REWARD ME. YOU DON’T KNOW HOW GOOD I CAN BE. YOU CAN POSSESS ME UTTERLY. REWARD ME. YOU WERE LEAVING AS I WAS COMING IN. THE REASON TO PRESERVE MY SKIN STANDING INDIFFERENT. I’M STARING STARVING. REWARD ME. REWARD ME. YOU DON’T KNOW HOW GOOD I CAN BE. I CAN LOSE MYSELF UTTERLY. REWARD ME, PLEASE.

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NOTHING(b)

WHEN PAIN IS DEAFENING I LISTEN HARDER.
HEAR THE OUTLINES OF YOUR WORDS BUT NOT THEIR COLOR.
THANKS FOR ALL THE LANGUAGE, IT CANNOT DIFFUSE
THE LIFE-DRAINING BURDEN OF MOTHERING YOU.
WELCOME BACK MY FLAT AFFECT.
WELCOME BACK THE RITUAL MOCKERY.
WELCOME BACK DRAW A CONTOUR MAP OF THAT.
WELCOME BACK. DON’T CHECK MY PULSE.
NOTHING LASTS FOREVER.
NOTHING IS ITS OWN REWARD.
WELCOME BACK.